We had our pregnancy test on New Years Eve. We had tested at home so we were prepared for a negative result. We got the call around noon. This time the home pregnancy tests actually helped because we didn't have to deal with such a drastic blow; we had time to adjust. We have decided to take a few months off and try again in eight months with a different fertility clinic. We have made connections with the clinic and were really impressed with our first appointment. The reason we did not switch is that it is very difficult to get your frozen embryos moved and the survival rate from thawing can be an issue when you have the embryos transferred as different clinics have different procedures. In addition, this clinic does not perform reciprocal ivfs yet; they have to get their legal ducks in a row.
With all that we have been through and the diagnoses that we have received, we believe the best course of action will be to proceed with IUI. Here's to hoping 2013 will bring exciting news!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Sunday, December 23, 2012
FET 12/21/12
12/21/12
6:45am--wake up to learn that the world did not end while we were sleeping-bonus.
7:30am--Leslie's pre-transfer acupuncture appointment. The acupuncturist is fantastic and was willing to come in early since we have an early transfer this morning.
9:00am--We arrive early at the fertility clinic early for our 9:30am start appointment. Leslie claims she really has to pee. Since it took additional time to fill her bladder last night, she is given more water and her valium. The fertility doctor comes in to confirm we are thawing three embryos.
10:00am--The fertility doctor comes in to tell us that one of the eggs did not survive the thaw. It is a amazing the loss you feel when you learn your embryo did not make it. But we are excited for the transfer. We wheel Leslie into the procedure room and they use the ultrasound machine to confirm she has a full bladder. It was TOO FULL! So they called the doctor in right away to use a catheter to relieve the bladder so they could actually see the uterus. Poor Leslie, turns out she was right, she did have a full bladder :). The second doctor came in for the transfer and we confirmed the lining looked great, etc.
11:00am--lunch at Chili's---chicken enchilada soup and buffalo bites. Lemon water with no ice.
12:00pm--our doctor does not recommend bed rest. Rather, she recommends moving around to keep the blood flowing but no exercise the first day. So we walk through best buy and the book store.
2:00pm--Leslie's follow up acupuncture appointment. She has formed a few bruises where she had the needles--maybe because of the low dose aspirin?
5:00pm--we meet at home, finish packing for our Christmas travel to Pennsylvania. On the road by 5:45pm. we decide to take it easy on the ride and stop every three hours so that Leslie can walk around and stretch her legs as needed. We arrive in Pennslyvania at 7:30am CST (8:30 EST).
Now the two week weight begins. Our beta test is scheduled for New Years Eve :).
6:45am--wake up to learn that the world did not end while we were sleeping-bonus.
7:30am--Leslie's pre-transfer acupuncture appointment. The acupuncturist is fantastic and was willing to come in early since we have an early transfer this morning.
9:00am--We arrive early at the fertility clinic early for our 9:30am start appointment. Leslie claims she really has to pee. Since it took additional time to fill her bladder last night, she is given more water and her valium. The fertility doctor comes in to confirm we are thawing three embryos.
10:00am--The fertility doctor comes in to tell us that one of the eggs did not survive the thaw. It is a amazing the loss you feel when you learn your embryo did not make it. But we are excited for the transfer. We wheel Leslie into the procedure room and they use the ultrasound machine to confirm she has a full bladder. It was TOO FULL! So they called the doctor in right away to use a catheter to relieve the bladder so they could actually see the uterus. Poor Leslie, turns out she was right, she did have a full bladder :). The second doctor came in for the transfer and we confirmed the lining looked great, etc.
11:00am--lunch at Chili's---chicken enchilada soup and buffalo bites. Lemon water with no ice.
12:00pm--our doctor does not recommend bed rest. Rather, she recommends moving around to keep the blood flowing but no exercise the first day. So we walk through best buy and the book store.
2:00pm--Leslie's follow up acupuncture appointment. She has formed a few bruises where she had the needles--maybe because of the low dose aspirin?
5:00pm--we meet at home, finish packing for our Christmas travel to Pennsylvania. On the road by 5:45pm. we decide to take it easy on the ride and stop every three hours so that Leslie can walk around and stretch her legs as needed. We arrive in Pennslyvania at 7:30am CST (8:30 EST).
Now the two week weight begins. Our beta test is scheduled for New Years Eve :).
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Leslie's first lining check
Leslie was due for her period the second or third week in November. She has PCOS so it sometimes varies. The instructions were to call and schedule an appointment for Day 2 of her period. So we waited....and waited. By the first week of December, we were antsy. We called our fertility doctor and they put her on a medication to start her period (she has had to take this medication a couple of times in the past). By day two of the medication, Leslie had her period. We scheduled our Day 2 appointment for Sunday, December 9th. I explained to Leslie what to expect in this appointment---the full bladder appointment. She drank water before bed and did not pee right away in the morning when she woke up. I asked her---do you have to go, I mean REALLY have to go? Her response-well, I have to pee. My response---no, I mean do you have to go so bad that if you sneeze right now we will have problems? Her response--well no. Answer-you better start chugging the water. We arrived at the doctor appointment with 32 ounces of water post-bedtime in Leslie and we were still getting the same response. So the nurse used the ultrasound and Leslie wasn't quite ready for the baseline visit/trial transfer. So we she had to drink another 32 ounces and let gravity do it's thing. Finally-she was at the breakpoint and we were ready. They did the catheter procedure to draw attention to the lining and scheduled her first lining check for Sunday, December 16th. She also was to start Estrogen today and luckily, she only has to take the pills-no vivelle patches (note the pills are only $10 with our co-pay while the patches were a couple hundred a pack; so Cheap Leslie was a happy camper).
We set Leslie's phone alarm to ring four times a day so she could remember to take her pill at work. In addition, she really up'd her water intake. We also scheduled her first acupuncture appointment for Friday 12/14. The statistics are that acupuncture helps the day of transfer so we were going to keep it up. But we only scheduled the one appointment before the transfer day.
On Sunday, December 16th we headed in for our first lining check. The nurse practitioner was covering today which was alright with us as she was always more gentle with the probing. She also started the appointment by emphasizing what were looking for: 7mm and triple layer. She went in and the words out of her mouth: "wow, this is textbook." Leslie had the triple layer, 9.6mm, and it continued throughout the uterus so we had a great smiley face on the ultrasound. I had to stop shaking Leslie out of excitement so she could snap the photos (she printed a copy of the smiley face for us---it's on our fridge; yeah, some people might find that weird :) ). I was SOOOOO EXCITED. Leslie was certainly excited as well but you could tell the nerves were setting in. We had to walk through the protocol again for her, we painted my targets on her back for the progesterone and by the time we left she was on the same cloud that I was on. Our transfer day is 12/21/12.
Song----It's the end of the world as we know it.....
The beginning of our new life begins on 12/21/12!
We set Leslie's phone alarm to ring four times a day so she could remember to take her pill at work. In addition, she really up'd her water intake. We also scheduled her first acupuncture appointment for Friday 12/14. The statistics are that acupuncture helps the day of transfer so we were going to keep it up. But we only scheduled the one appointment before the transfer day.
On Sunday, December 16th we headed in for our first lining check. The nurse practitioner was covering today which was alright with us as she was always more gentle with the probing. She also started the appointment by emphasizing what were looking for: 7mm and triple layer. She went in and the words out of her mouth: "wow, this is textbook." Leslie had the triple layer, 9.6mm, and it continued throughout the uterus so we had a great smiley face on the ultrasound. I had to stop shaking Leslie out of excitement so she could snap the photos (she printed a copy of the smiley face for us---it's on our fridge; yeah, some people might find that weird :) ). I was SOOOOO EXCITED. Leslie was certainly excited as well but you could tell the nerves were setting in. We had to walk through the protocol again for her, we painted my targets on her back for the progesterone and by the time we left she was on the same cloud that I was on. Our transfer day is 12/21/12.
Song----It's the end of the world as we know it.....
The beginning of our new life begins on 12/21/12!
The Switch
So we had our follow-up visit with our fertility doctor on 11/21 (the Sunday before Thanksgiving). We were really nervous going into the appointment given the last appointment results but were determined that if we were told our lining was not there, we were not going to move forward with this cycle. Even though we may have thought we were prepared for whatever the doctor said, it is always a blow when you hear the "I'm sorry...." Not only did I not have the depth, but I still did not have the triple layer and it looked as though there was was fluid floating in my uterus. Just a straight up mess in there. So of course I cried (clearly the estrogen was floating around in my head as opposed to growing a uterine lining so there was no way I was going to be able to hold back the tears to have a calm, cool, conversation with the doctor). The doctor suggested two options: 1) switch to Leslie's uterus or 2) attempt a natural cycle.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with a natural cycle, your doctor monitors your natural ovulation and counts on your own body and ovulation to produce the estrogen you need to grow your lining. You have somewhat fewer med costs, but you substitute that with more blood draws and more ultrasounds/appointments with the doctor. I read a post on a blog where the person thought it was a more economical route but I have to disagree as my meds are substantially cheaper than these doctor visits. Plus it would mean I would have to be at the doctors office more frequently and that seems to cause stress.
We contacted another fertility doctor to show my hysteroscopy results and to get a second opinion regarding the results: calcified fibroids. He also had never seen such a case and had the suggestion that I try Lupron to address the fibroids (been there done that :)) but acknowledged that this wouldn't do anything to address the calcification.
So we went on a long walk through the nature preserve in our back yard and weighed our options. As we were walking back to our condo, we were set; we were going to pursue the natural cycle. Give it one more shot and hope that the receiver is open for that hail mary. We emailed our doctor that night at approx 8pm that we wanted to schedule a telephone call the next day to identify what our next steps would be.
As we were lying in bed that night (approx 10pm) I turned to Leslie and said, I really think we should switch. Leslie was apprehensive in her response (is she testing me? does she know what she is saying? am I ready for this?) as this was a very emotional issue for me. It was our goal to create a child together and we had identified what was important to each of us: Leslie wanted a biological child and I wanted to carry. What would mean if we made the switch? To say that this process was emotionally/mentally draining for me would be an understatement. I was clearly depressed in this process----after all, I had been going through this process for 9 months: no drinking, no caffeine, stopped taking all medication including the antidepressants and sleep medication I had been taking for ten years, pumped full of hormones and 25 pounds added and no baby. I honestly do not know if I could take another negative. Plus, the doctor had gone through Leslie's ultrasound photos from the retrievals and she was looking great. I had to accept that fact that not-carrying the child is not going to make me any less of a parent. We are still going through this process together.
When I called the doctor the next day, I corrected my late night email and explained that we were going to make the switch. The doctor emphasized that she thought this was the path that would be most likely to produce a positive result for us because quite frankly she had never seen the fibroid issue that I have and had no clue how to address it. She ended the call by explaining her biggest issue that she had to overcome when she was struggling with infertility herself; she had to let go of the fact she would never deliver a child. I couldn't help but chime in---uggh, I was certainly NOT looking forward to delivery. Carrying yes, breast feeding yes, delivery---uh, no we could have skipped that step all together.
As I am writing this, I am officially clean of the meds and feel I have regained my sanity. I think I hit clarity around the first week of December. I have also hit the gym and started dieting and am ten pounds down. Although it was a tough decision and a blow at the time, I am super excited to continue our journey. Yes, my role in this pregnancy will change. But when I close my eyes and visualize the path before us, I am so excited and confident that my Leslie will bring our baby(ies) into this world. As the I hit the fast forward in my visual timeline of our pregnancy, I see the feet rubbing, the late-night craving runs, the cocoa butter baths, the coaching her through the deliver and I am just so excited to excel in my role as best supporting actress for my leading lady.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with a natural cycle, your doctor monitors your natural ovulation and counts on your own body and ovulation to produce the estrogen you need to grow your lining. You have somewhat fewer med costs, but you substitute that with more blood draws and more ultrasounds/appointments with the doctor. I read a post on a blog where the person thought it was a more economical route but I have to disagree as my meds are substantially cheaper than these doctor visits. Plus it would mean I would have to be at the doctors office more frequently and that seems to cause stress.
We contacted another fertility doctor to show my hysteroscopy results and to get a second opinion regarding the results: calcified fibroids. He also had never seen such a case and had the suggestion that I try Lupron to address the fibroids (been there done that :)) but acknowledged that this wouldn't do anything to address the calcification.
So we went on a long walk through the nature preserve in our back yard and weighed our options. As we were walking back to our condo, we were set; we were going to pursue the natural cycle. Give it one more shot and hope that the receiver is open for that hail mary. We emailed our doctor that night at approx 8pm that we wanted to schedule a telephone call the next day to identify what our next steps would be.
As we were lying in bed that night (approx 10pm) I turned to Leslie and said, I really think we should switch. Leslie was apprehensive in her response (is she testing me? does she know what she is saying? am I ready for this?) as this was a very emotional issue for me. It was our goal to create a child together and we had identified what was important to each of us: Leslie wanted a biological child and I wanted to carry. What would mean if we made the switch? To say that this process was emotionally/mentally draining for me would be an understatement. I was clearly depressed in this process----after all, I had been going through this process for 9 months: no drinking, no caffeine, stopped taking all medication including the antidepressants and sleep medication I had been taking for ten years, pumped full of hormones and 25 pounds added and no baby. I honestly do not know if I could take another negative. Plus, the doctor had gone through Leslie's ultrasound photos from the retrievals and she was looking great. I had to accept that fact that not-carrying the child is not going to make me any less of a parent. We are still going through this process together.
When I called the doctor the next day, I corrected my late night email and explained that we were going to make the switch. The doctor emphasized that she thought this was the path that would be most likely to produce a positive result for us because quite frankly she had never seen the fibroid issue that I have and had no clue how to address it. She ended the call by explaining her biggest issue that she had to overcome when she was struggling with infertility herself; she had to let go of the fact she would never deliver a child. I couldn't help but chime in---uggh, I was certainly NOT looking forward to delivery. Carrying yes, breast feeding yes, delivery---uh, no we could have skipped that step all together.
As I am writing this, I am officially clean of the meds and feel I have regained my sanity. I think I hit clarity around the first week of December. I have also hit the gym and started dieting and am ten pounds down. Although it was a tough decision and a blow at the time, I am super excited to continue our journey. Yes, my role in this pregnancy will change. But when I close my eyes and visualize the path before us, I am so excited and confident that my Leslie will bring our baby(ies) into this world. As the I hit the fast forward in my visual timeline of our pregnancy, I see the feet rubbing, the late-night craving runs, the cocoa butter baths, the coaching her through the deliver and I am just so excited to excel in my role as best supporting actress for my leading lady.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Round 3
We had our baseline visit on Friday, November 2nd. This is the appointment where you have to have the full bladder. I am not coherent in the mornings when I wake up so I went to the restroom right away. Then I had the oh crap moment when I remembered a 1/2 hour before my appointment that I needed to have a full bladder. So I filled my water bottle three times (16 oz), chugged my low sodium V8 and I still had a walnut size bladder at the time of my appointment. So my appointment took much longer as expected. I was in the room drinking soda which is supposed to fill your bladder more quickly than just water which was actually difficult to down since I do not normally drink soda. Then I had a scare when I sneezed---uggh thought I was going to have to start all over again!
The appointment went well and my doctor put me back on the usual-four estrogen pills per day and two vivelle patches that I change every three days. We scheduled my lining test for the 11th and expected transfer on the 16th.
In the meantime, I had another acupuncture session. My liver was showing sensitivity so my acupuncturist emphasized the need to eat foods/drinks that will help my liver so that it can absorb the meds I am taking.
I had my baseline visit on the 11th and I took another hit. The lining does not have the structure or the depth. Even when my lining was "bad" in terms of thickness (of course we learned this after the fact) during the first round, I still had the triple layer structure. This time I did not even have that. The doctor is recommending that I continue the estrogen regimen for another 7 days and scheduled another ultrasound for next Sunday. I am feeling very discouraged. I was concerned that I may be building on a poor foundation at this point so I have emails out to our regular doctor to make sure that we are making the right decision by continuing with this cycle.
Ended the night with one of my best friends coming over to comfort us. Never underestimate the value of a great support network!
The appointment went well and my doctor put me back on the usual-four estrogen pills per day and two vivelle patches that I change every three days. We scheduled my lining test for the 11th and expected transfer on the 16th.
In the meantime, I had another acupuncture session. My liver was showing sensitivity so my acupuncturist emphasized the need to eat foods/drinks that will help my liver so that it can absorb the meds I am taking.
I had my baseline visit on the 11th and I took another hit. The lining does not have the structure or the depth. Even when my lining was "bad" in terms of thickness (of course we learned this after the fact) during the first round, I still had the triple layer structure. This time I did not even have that. The doctor is recommending that I continue the estrogen regimen for another 7 days and scheduled another ultrasound for next Sunday. I am feeling very discouraged. I was concerned that I may be building on a poor foundation at this point so I have emails out to our regular doctor to make sure that we are making the right decision by continuing with this cycle.
Ended the night with one of my best friends coming over to comfort us. Never underestimate the value of a great support network!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Preparing for Round 3
We had the hysteroscopy and the doctor found some calcification within my uterus. According to Leslie, she was able to remove as much as she could. She performed a biopsy as well and what she thought was inflammation turned out to be muscle. Nonetheless, I am on a antibiotic for 30 days. I am also taking a probiotic to balance out.
I had an acupuncture appointment last week and I feel re-energized. I will continue acupuncture weekly through the next cycle.
My doctor had a last minute test she wanted me to obtain-a prolactin test. In order to provide the sample for the test I was not to have any breast stimulation. Leslie was out of town so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. But it turns out I tend to touch my own breasts while on the phone-weird. So I had a friend come over as I clearly knew I would not do this with company present. So the next morning I was ready for this last minute test. It turns out my prolactin levels were high so I am also on a medication to lower my prolactin test. I was reading online (I know, I told myself I wasn't going to do this) and found that high prolactin levels can impact implantation.
With that said, the plan is that we will start again at the end of this month. I am to make an appointment with my doctor on day two of my next period. In addition to making sure she does not note calcification during my ultrasounds, my doctor is also adding prednisone to this cycle as well.
Fingers crossed. Feeling positive. Leslie and I have come to believe that perhaps we were just meant to have girls :).
I had an acupuncture appointment last week and I feel re-energized. I will continue acupuncture weekly through the next cycle.
My doctor had a last minute test she wanted me to obtain-a prolactin test. In order to provide the sample for the test I was not to have any breast stimulation. Leslie was out of town so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. But it turns out I tend to touch my own breasts while on the phone-weird. So I had a friend come over as I clearly knew I would not do this with company present. So the next morning I was ready for this last minute test. It turns out my prolactin levels were high so I am also on a medication to lower my prolactin test. I was reading online (I know, I told myself I wasn't going to do this) and found that high prolactin levels can impact implantation.
With that said, the plan is that we will start again at the end of this month. I am to make an appointment with my doctor on day two of my next period. In addition to making sure she does not note calcification during my ultrasounds, my doctor is also adding prednisone to this cycle as well.
Fingers crossed. Feeling positive. Leslie and I have come to believe that perhaps we were just meant to have girls :).
Monday, September 24, 2012
Still positive
So that brings us to today. We had our appointment with another fertility doctor who reviewed our file and believed there was no good reason that were weren't pregnant yet given our age and health. He questioned the implantation or handling of the eggs as his practice is "more advanced" than the other clinic. Unfortunately however, they cannot accept Leslie's eggs at their clinic as they do not have the legal clear to transfer third party eggs and even if they did, they use different freezing and thawing practices than the other clinic which could mean that our last three eggs would not make it through the process.
We have three frozen girl embryos. Two A+ and one A. I met with our fertility doctor regarding her plan should we proceed with a second frozen embryo transfer. She wants to perform a hysteroscopy which under her protocol requires an overnight hospital stay. A hysteroscopy is the process of using a viewing scope to examine the interior of the uterus along with the cervical canal. The scope is inserted through the vagina and into the cervical opening--I will be out during this process. She wants to see if I have any scar tissue issues and also wants to biopsy some of the lining. This test has to occur between days 5 and 12 of my next period. She wanted me to go on birth control pills. I hesitated and she withdrew that requirement immediately. So we have my pre-op appointment tomorrow. Hopefully Aunt Flow will be arriving tomorrow or Wednesday as the hysteroscopy is scheduled for October 3rd. Leslie is out of town for work so our best friend Val will be taking me to the appointment and caring for me after. She is on strict instructions to sneak an M&M McFlurry into the hospital for me :).
We have three frozen girl embryos. Two A+ and one A. I met with our fertility doctor regarding her plan should we proceed with a second frozen embryo transfer. She wants to perform a hysteroscopy which under her protocol requires an overnight hospital stay. A hysteroscopy is the process of using a viewing scope to examine the interior of the uterus along with the cervical canal. The scope is inserted through the vagina and into the cervical opening--I will be out during this process. She wants to see if I have any scar tissue issues and also wants to biopsy some of the lining. This test has to occur between days 5 and 12 of my next period. She wanted me to go on birth control pills. I hesitated and she withdrew that requirement immediately. So we have my pre-op appointment tomorrow. Hopefully Aunt Flow will be arriving tomorrow or Wednesday as the hysteroscopy is scheduled for October 3rd. Leslie is out of town for work so our best friend Val will be taking me to the appointment and caring for me after. She is on strict instructions to sneak an M&M McFlurry into the hospital for me :).
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