Monday, September 24, 2012

Still positive

So that brings us to today.  We had our appointment with another fertility doctor who reviewed our file and believed there was no good reason that were weren't pregnant yet given our age and health.  He questioned the implantation or handling of the eggs as his practice is "more advanced" than the other clinic.  Unfortunately however, they cannot accept Leslie's eggs at their clinic as they do not have the legal clear to transfer third party eggs and even if they did, they use different freezing and thawing practices than the other clinic which could mean that our last three eggs would not make it through the process. 

We have three frozen girl embryos.  Two A+ and one A.  I met with our fertility doctor regarding her plan should we proceed with a second frozen embryo transfer.  She wants to perform a hysteroscopy which under her protocol requires an overnight hospital stay.  A hysteroscopy is the process of using a viewing scope to examine the interior of the uterus along with the cervical canal. The scope is inserted through the vagina and into the cervical opening--I will be out during this process. She wants to see if I have any scar tissue issues and also wants to biopsy some of the lining.  This test has to occur between days 5 and 12 of my next period.  She wanted me to go on birth control pills.  I hesitated and she withdrew that requirement immediately.  So we have my pre-op appointment tomorrow.  Hopefully Aunt Flow will be arriving tomorrow or Wednesday as the hysteroscopy is scheduled for October 3rd.  Leslie is out of town for work so our best friend Val will be taking me to the appointment and caring for me after.  She is on strict instructions to sneak an M&M McFlurry into the hospital for me :).

Round II-Two week wait again

We really tried to be disciplined this go around.  The day of the transfer we went shopping and found a VHS version of Look Who's Talking for our viewing pleasure that night.  I had an acupuncture appointment that afternoon which went fine.  I went for a walk after work each day, followed our meal plan to a T, performed the meditation exercises daily, and Leslie blended pineapple cores which are thought to increase the chance of implantation.

Symptoms this time around were similar to the last go around.  Leslie has become a champ at administering the progesterone shots so they do not even hurt anymore.  I was peeing every hour---that's what you get for drinking 90 ounces + of water each day.  I was burping approximately five days after transfer.  Around seven days of transfer I noticed my veins all over my body were very blue.  It was pretty dramatic.

We did not POAS---it just caused too much stress the last go around and this time we were going to just wait.  In addition, I was given strict orders from Leslie that I was not allowed to go to any 2WW blogs.  I had a three day trial starting day 9 following the transfer.  The last day of trial was our blood test day.  I had Court right at 8:00am and the doctor's office is 30 minutes away.  My appointment was at 7:30 but I got to the office at 7am and the nurse was there and took my blood sample right away---THANK YOU!  We scheduled the call at 12:30pm.

On my drive to Court I was feeling nauseous---great, that has to be a sign!

I finished my morning hearing, my alarm went off at 12pm (pre-approved by the Judge) for my second estrogen pill of the day (it was impossible for me to remember the four pills without having the phone alarms).  We took the lunch break and I immediately went to the hall to wait for the call.  I turned on my phone and noticed I had a voicemail already.  I listened to the voicemail and it was the doctor apologizing that the test was negative.  I was devastated.  I went to a corner of the courthouse where no one was around and just cried and cried.  I called Leslie to deliver the bad news and she too was devastated; we really thought we were pregnant this time.  We both had to pull it together as we had full afternoons.  On my way to the Courthouse cafeteria I ran into my mentor who noticed something was wrong.  I filled her in and vented the frustrations of the process.  I pulled it together and rocked the rest of my trial.  Bonus--it was Friday.

After work we ordered everything on the menu at Glass Nickel Pizza---well almost, we ordered pizza, a breadstick appetizer, alfredo pasta, and two cookies for dessert.  We paired our eloquent dining experience with red wine.  We ordered two red box movies and decided to have a veg-out evening.  I cannot imagine going through this process with anyone else.  Leslie is my rock.  Despite the depressing news of the day, our love for the other and determination to grow as a family is still going strong.  We decided to take a month off from the process and get a second opinion from another fertility doctor in the area to make sure we are on track.

The following Monday I received a lovely card from my mentor:
"Ladies,
As I learned last week from "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,": "It will turn out right in the end, and if it is not right, it's not the end!"
Keep the faith!
Love,
Pat"

Round 2-Frozen Embryo Transfer

It's been a while since the last post; time to play a little catch up.  After stopping the estrogen and the progesterone, Aunt Flow followed in less than a week.  We called the doctors office the day of my period to find out whether we were starting the protocol right away or waiting a month.  The coordinator wanted me to come in for an appointment but we were still on vacation.  So we got the doctor on the phone to find out what we should do.  The instructions were to start back up on the four estrogen pills and two patches per day and to come in for an appointment when we returned.  We were skipping the lupron this time as she was afraid that the lupron was negatively impacting my lining (a little frustrated to find this out after the fact that my lining was at issue).  Our appointment was for a week later and our lining was looking "excellent."  In fact, she said that my lining looked amazing compared to the last round-the right thickness and the triple layering.  So we were instructed to start the progesterone shots right away again and our implantation would be scheduled five days later.

We decided to incorporate acupuncture this time around.  Acupuncture is also not covered by insurance, but at this point, what's another couple hundred dollars.  The acupuncturist said that my liver is congested (probably doesn't help that it is processing all of these meds).  So I drank lemon water in the morning and she gave me a conflicting list of foods I should eat---rice okay but no carbs--huh?  So instead I stuck with the Leslie approved meal plan for this round:  3-32 oz water throughout the day, 8 oz. of green machine in the morning, two scrambled eggs and one piece of toast, peanut butter and jelly as an early afternoon meal, spinach and apple salad in the middle of the afternoon, low sodium V8 late after noon, and whatever for dinner which included rice and a protein.  I also incorporated the meditation exercises recommended by the acupuncturist and I did those three times a day every day.

The day of the transfer the acupuncturist met us at the doctor's office and we did one session before the transfer.  Our two A+ male embryos made it through the thaw and were ready to go.  The doctor wheeled us into the transfer room and began the transfer without the other doctor (a little worried about that but she said it was perfect).  She said the lining was perfect, the transfer was perfect so she expected great news in 11 days for our follow up appointment. 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

2WW Part II


Day 7:  Well we are 7dp5dt and another negative this morning.  Still trying to stay positive but I am feeling very discouraged today.  I had to call in our extra prescriptions for our vacation-I will need more vivelle patches and estrogen pills.  I warn the Walgreens person over the phone that it will require an additional authorization and explain I will be on vacation.  He says it will be no problem and says that I can pick up the prescriptions at 5pm.  I went to pick them up at 5pm and the guy I spoke to forgot to make the call and my insurance company is closed now.  We leave for vacation tomorrow so it will be tight but they promise to make the call first thing in the morning.  I started to tear up in the pharmacy drive thru (what is wrong with me??) and call my mom on the way home.  I started crying and my mom was able to calm me down.  She says to stay calm and think of how great it will be to learn we are pregnant in Niagara Falls.  Leslie is at a work dinner that night so I am on my own.  I make myself a Jack's Pizza and end up having heartburn all night.  I never have heartburn--is it a sign???

Day 8:  8dp5dt-poas and it's negative.  I am frantically searching the 2WW websites for hope and found just a couple.  I call the nurse at the fertility clinic and explain the only symptoms I have had have been burping and heartburn and that I have used HPTs and they are all negative.  She tells me to step away from the stick and just stay positive as she frequently sees positive betas when people POAS during the 2WW.  She even described a recent situation where one of the patients stopped taking her meds because she thought it was negative and it turned out she was positive but then there were issues with the discontinued meds.  We start vacation today and are feeling positive.  First night of vacation and we normally have sex every day of vacation (TMI I know) and there are no restrictions on by my doctor so I think hey, maybe we need a little shake up in there.  All was great.  I decide not to POAS before the Beta which will be in Niagara Falls.
Day 9:  NO POAS, we drive from our stop in Michigan, through Canada to the Niagara Falls.  We were listening to the radio and heard of a guy who was detained in Seattle for several hours after trying to bring candy from Canada back in the US.  So of course-Leslie needs that candy.  We find it at a gas station.  It is illegal in the US because the toys inside of the chocolate egg are a choking hazard.  Leslie did not choke on the candy.  We arrive in Niagara Falls and have AMAZING NY style pizza that night. 
Day 10:  We have our blood test at 7:10am at a local blood test facility in Niagara Falls.  We go back to the hotel room and take a nap before we get on our bikes and bike to the Falls.  They are absolutely gorgeous.  We call the doctor’s office to see if they have the results before we go on our Maid of the Mist tour and they haven’t received anything yet.  So we go on our tour---fun and wet.  Great views, the Canadian side falls are even better than the US falls.  We get back to the dock and walk up the stairs to get an up close view of the US falls.  While up there we see we have a voicemail and listen---BFN from our fertility doctor.  We are certainly devastated but we pull ourselves together and head back to the hotel.  We call the clinic when we get there and discuss our plan.  We do not want to rush this so we want to make sure the next round is right.  We have 5 frozen eggs (3 girls and 2 boys) and the doctor is confident that there is a pregnancy in our future.  She believes there may have been some issues with my use of Lupron so she isn’t going to use the drug this go around.  I am supposed to call day 2 of my next period to go in for an ultrasound.  We decide to go back to our amazing pizza place (still great) and I have a glass of wine.  After 4 months of no drinking---whoo that really hit me.  We found a Ben & Jerry’s for Leslie and head back to the hotel for an early turn in.  We agree that we want to make this next round as calm as positive.  We talk about plans including ways to make the next 2WW more manageable.  Decision---we will not POAS the next go around.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

2WW Part I

Day 1:  Yesterday was nice and calm.  After the transfer, we went to Chipotle for lunch, then we went to the bank as we needed to get cash for our upcoming vacation, then we went to the zoo to check out the animals.  I was still feeling the effects of the valium so I was calm and up for anything.  We went home after the zoo and I made dinner while Leslie caught up on some work.  We watched a little tv and turned in early.

We both went to work today and around noon I received the call regarding the number of eggs that were frozen.  Of the two that were questionable (one boy and one girl) the girl did not make it to A so we have five frozen---three girls and two boys.

I really have no symptoms that would tell me I'm pregnant.  I am feeling bloated but that is probably due to the progesterone shots.

Day 2:  I am very aware of every little movement in my body.  I have been on the 2WW forums and I keep wondering---am I feeling cramping?  But then I think it was just gas.  I have been burping quite a bit and am peeing more frequently.  But on the other hand, I am drinking more water so no identified symptoms.

Day 3:  I had what I thought was cramping in the middle of the night that woke me up (but could have been gas).  I drank some water as I have been really thirsty and don't want to get dehydrated.

Day 4:  Last day of the work week----good thing and bad thing.  We went to a Mallards game tonight just ourselves.  No additional symptoms---still bloated and still burping :).  My boobs are certainly bigger from when we started but that kicked in with the first round of pills/shots so again, this could be the progesterone and estrogen I am taking.

Day 5:  I was up in the middle of the night/or early in the morning (4:30am) to pee and Leslie and I decide to POAS for the first time.  We wait the full three minutes as we promise ourselves we are not going to be bummed if it comes back negative because it is still early.  BFN.  We go back to sleep for a few hours and I was up around 9am and am back to my 2WW forums to confirm that others who ended with positives had BFNs at this time.   I am also checking on symptoms but the challenge is that most IVF reporters are women who had a retrieval and then an implantation just days later so some of their symptoms could have been from the retrieval.  I am comforted to see that many do not have any symptoms at all.  We decide we are going to wait until Monday to POAS again.

We went downtown for artfair on the square and went to the Madison Cougars football game that night which was great to keep our mind off things.  I made chicken thighs for dinner but neither of us was really hungry.  The smell of the chicken was kind of grossing me out when we got back to the car which Leslie thought may be a sign but it could have been that we were hot all day with no desire to eat.  Peeing every hour but I'm drinking water every hour it seems so again no symptoms.

Morning of Day 6:  Well I was up again at 4:30 to pee, decided to go back to sleep and leave the stick alone.  I only take a sip of water and go back to bed.  But then I woke up again at 8:00am.  My pee has been pretty clear lately from being so hydrated.  I thought that maybe my pee is maybe too watered down and since I didn't drink much water at 4 and I am thirsty that maybe my pee will have traces of HCG now for the FRER to pick up something???  Leslie is asleep and had a few beers last night at the after party so I let her sleep while I POAS (I know I know we said wait til Monday but based on my calculations (I bought 6 FRER sticks) I have enough to get me to the blood test).  I wait the three minutes BFN---I kept reading about the faint lines that others were getting so I am straining to see anything and there is nothing.  So now I decide how to fill my day.  I am thinking yard work then we are babysitting a 2 year old for a friend--back to the zoo :).

Egg Details and Transfer

Day 0-26 eggs retrieved from Leslie.

Day 1-26 eggs made it through the night, all 26 were fertilized.

Day 2-23 eggs are continuing to grow after fertilization.  Of those eggs we know that 18 are received a Grade 1!  We are super excited and hopeful!

Day 3- We now have 24 eggs that are continuing to grow---they must have missed one yesterday.  Of those, 18 are receiving a Grade 1 but all are of a quality that would proceed to the genetic testing so a biopsy will be performed to test for X, Y and 21.

Day 4-We do not have the genetic testing results back but the fertility doctor explained that this is when we see a severe drop in egg quantity.  We have 16 eggs remaining that are now in the morula phase.  Divide Divide Divide!  We are scheduled to be at the doctor's office tomorrow at 11:30am with a transfer at 12:30am.

Day 5-I take Leslie to work and head off to work myself.  I have to go to the appointment with a full bladder and my valium in hand.  Since the appointment isn't until 11:30am, I go to the bathroom right away when I wake up and decide  I will hold it from then on until the appointment.  I wasn't planning on going into work but was actually able to get a lot done and am glad I went in to keep my mind off of the appointment.  Leslie and I drove to the appointment together and we are trying to stay maintain positive thoughts and are eager to hear what the results of the genetic testing were.

When we arrive, I am instructed to undress from the neck down---I do not generally wear clothes above my neck :).  We have to wait a 1/2 hour or so for the doctor to get the results so in the meantime, I am playing classic bubbles on my phone (I am so addicted to this game).  Leslie is checking work in.

The fertility doctor comes in to reveal the report and she is all smiles.  First she explains the results from the genetic testing.  Of the 24 that were sent, a significant portion were marked as abnormal.  We are down to 8 eggs. We have three girl blasts-all of which are hatched!  Our doctor said that she that she only sees hatched three times a year so she is very encouraged.  We have one girl and one boy blast that has not hatched and would be in the B range.  If they make it to hatched by tomorrow then they will be frozen.  And we have three boy blasts that are hatched!  Our doctor will pick the two best boys to implant.  We decided to name them Willy (the Wildcat from Northwestern) and Bucky (the Badger from Wisconsin) and away they went.

I took the valium and we had to wait about 45 minutes for that to kick in and for the doctors to be scrubbed in.  I was wheeled into the waiting room and I have to say I was feeling preeettttyy good.  I was very chill from the valium.  Leslie was asking a ton of questions and I didn't have any care in teh world.  Leslie was in the room with me in the transfer and while one doctor was performing the ultrasound, my regular doctor was doing the implantation.  The procedure lasted a whole minute but then we have to sit there for 30 minutes.  The problem is---I still have that full bladder.  So the doctor used a catheter to empty.  We left with a photo of Bucky and Willie and a sonogram photo of the implanted eggs.

We left with the instruction to do things that make us happy.  Limited to light exercise and no sex for the day but we can go back to normal the next day.  I had read online from forums and other IVF clinic websites that many women are ordered on bed rest on the day of transfer and others that say no sex for the first trimester!  When I questioned our doctor, she explained that studies show that women do better when they are not on bed rest---mostly because you just have time to sit there and worry whether you are pregnant.  She also said there were no quality studies on the issue of sex.

NOW WE ENTER THE DREADED TWO WEEK WAIT.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Fertilized Eggs

We are day 1 post retrieval.  The doctors office called me with the number of eggs they were able to fertilize.  So I called Leslie and played guess the number....8?  higher  10?  higher 15?  higher ("oh boy oh boy") 18? higher 20? higher ("haha really?") 23?  Exactly.   We are both super excited.

Tomorrow we learn the quality of the eggs and then we make the decision of whether we want to go through with the gender testing.  We are both smiles the rest of the day :)